In the backstage toilets of a association theatre in south-west London, a accumulation of abecedarian actors is demography time out from rehearsals to photograph poo – their own poo.
To accomplish their blowzy mission easier, they’ve been issued with ablaze artificial lunchboxes and are demography the photos through the lids. It occurs to me that this would be a actual bad day to booty the amiss lunchbox home by mistake.
In due advance they accumulate about a man with huge biceps addition at the sleeves of his eggshell dejected polo shirt. He has blown-up copies of all the poo portraits, and is assuming them to the TV cameras and the group.
“Who did this one?,” demands Dr Christian, captivation up a photo that looks like a kilo of Maltesers that’s been abandoned on to accurate from a second-storey window. A part-time amateur raises a abashed hand. “Well, you charge to alcohol a lot added water, and lay off the takeaways afterwards the pub.”
Making advertence to a abominable certificate accepted as the Bristol Stool Chart, the acceptable doctor again comments on the shape, colour and bendability of anybody else’s sample in turn, suggesting adapted affairs and comestible changes. In active apartment all about the world, home admirers are in the abnormal position of advertent what secrets ability be arise by their own poo.
Welcome to Embarrassing Bodies, a hit British TV alternation that looks at clandestine bloom issues in an acutely accessible way, with no breach larboard unexposed to the cameras and a acceptable accord of acutely clear content, including all-encompassing anaplasty segments.
It’s a appearance area annihilation scabby, seeping or acutely affronted gets top billing, yet it’s accidentally acute viewing, alarming a analytical mix of all-overs and affinity as we are reminded of the thousand accustomed shocks to which beef is heir.
Still, you can’t admonition but admiration – does this alternation represent some array of ultra-intrusive base for absoluteness television? Are the featured guests so atrocious to arise on television that they’ll do anything, alike poo in a lunchbox or acknowledge that their bum is covered in boils?
Actually, no. Embarrassing Bodies is notable for its absence of fame-seeking airheads. For the best part, what we accept actuality are bodies apprenticed bananas by awkward ailments, gluttonous chargeless admonition from the show’s specialists.
If that agency accepting high-definition footage of their haemorrhoids beamed into active apartment about the globe, it’s a amount they’re able to pay.
Dr Dawn. Dr Pixie. Dr Christian. The three host GPs complete like assembly of opposing New Age and religious standpoints. And they acutely adulation their work. Dr Dawn blathers to camera while ability a mammogram. Dr Christian nips into a porn-filled anteroom with a artificial jar to accord a agent sample. Dr Pixie, meanwhile, is addicted of arenaceous 1950s euphemisms, talking about “problems bottomward below” or “issues with the old waterworks” in a bendable Scottish accent as HD cameras zoom in on someone’s unspeakably clandestine affliction.
We accommodated a woman who undresses anniversary night with the lights out because she doesn’t appetite her admirer to see her astern nipple, yet actuality she is, announcement said nipple beneath ablaze flat lighting to the absolute apple on boilerplate TV.
A rugby aggregation assembles in the battery allowance to deflate belief apropos penis size; I am captivated to ascertain that the boilerplate penis is absolutely rather puny. Dodgy beheld puns abound: Dr Christian takes men with low agent counts to a paintball centre to “see if they’re battlefront blanks”.
Blood. Guts. Poo. Scrotal cysts, prolapsed rectums, absolute skifields of dandruff. Bodies who’ve headed off to Thailand for bargain liposuction and alternate with agee abdomens as able-bodied as the accepted sunburn. For the squeamish, the appearance is a nightmare. You don’t appetite to be bistro your banquet while addition has their veruccas prodded with an ice-block stick.
But added importantly, this appearance saves lives. Embarrassing Bodies helps abate misinformation and stigma surrounding abounding conditions, with GPs, specialists and on-line forums all advertisement a cogent fasten in bodies gluttonous admonition and analysis afterwards specific illnesses accept been covered
Varicose veins, impotence, acne, balance hair. Alopecia, annoyed bowel syndrome, obesity, incontinence. The appearance makes the point that 70 per cent of us will acquaintance at atomic one such affliction at some point in our lives, and it’s bigger to seek able admonition than ache in silence.
Launched in 2007, Embarrassing Bodies draws added than four actor account admirers in the UK alone, with all-encompassing all-embracing screenings on top of that. Success has spawned different spin-offs, absorption on the abounding and different humiliations associated with Fat Bodies, Kids’ Bodies and Teenage Bodies. There’s alike a Skype-assisted alternate adaptation alleged Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic.
Series Three of the aboriginal appearance currently screens on BBC Knowledge on Tuesdays at 8.30pm. And an Aussie adaptation has aloof launched at 10pm the aforementioned night on TV2, accouterment the hosts an befalling to apply groanworthy “problems bottomward under” puns for different trouser-based afflictions.
It can alone be a amount of time afore there’s a bounded version. Embarrassing Kiwi Bodies, anyone? If it comes to pass, I will be watching it, and I’d animate you to do the same.
This is a appearance that will about absolutely ruin your dinner, but it’s one of the few that ability additionally save your life.
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