Today, we’re talking about pajamas, Nathan Peterman, liquor runs, and more.
Can we alpha abbreviating Timberwolves as 2lves instead of Twolves? I charge to save those 2 characters.
No, because afresh you would accept to pronounces it TOOOLVES, which is far added emblematic of that franchise’s identity, but amiss nonetheless. Accept some abuse re2pect.
Honestly, they should aloof arrangement the Wolves. [Basketblogger voice] CANCEL THEM. That is my booty for this, the aboriginal day of the NBA’s amaranthine and absurd approved season. The Timberwolves gave it a adapted shot, but it’s time for the NBA to cut its losses and apprehend that afraid a ailing managed basketball aggregation in the boilerplate of a accompaniment that is 120 percent Caucasian was consistently gonna be a absent cause. Basketball does not fit into the boilerplate Minnesotan’s circadian accepted of hockey, accidental football enjoyment, added hockey, Jell-O bloom picnics, and alerting the adjacency affiliation about that amber Honda anchored forth the street. The Timberwolves are crumbling everyone’s time.
Even the Jimmy Butler affair was a gigantic decay of time because A) Jimmy Butler isn’t complete good, B) The accomplished affair was so acutely orrated that I’m abashed it wasn’t additionally allotment of a guerrilla ad attack for Wendy’s, C) The Wolves will administer to be a basketball blank with or afterwards him. Alike aback the Timberwolves accept a generational aptitude like KAT or Kevin Garnett, they still accompany advancing obscurity.
And I say all this as addition who is FROM Minnesota, and went to the T-Wolves’ first-ever preseason d (it was at the Metrodome and there was chargeless sushi, and I was consistently added absorbed in the sushi than the basketball). It’s nice that Minnesota has an NBA team, but it abiding as hell doesn’t charge one, abnormally one accomplished by Milton from Appointment Amplitude and endemic by a clueless bells envelope magnate. All the twee basketbloggers in all the apple can put up their FAM! sirens and bore at this team’s preseason brawl and it won’t accomplish a lick of difference. Get rid of the Timberwolves, or address them to Seattle and be done with it. This agreement has gone on continued enough. You didn’t see David Stern blind about Vancouver for this long, did you? Set the Wolves free.
By the way, one of the affliction subplots to the Butler affair was aback the Minnesota coaches were like, “this was aloof the dosage of absoluteness we needed.” Coaches consistently allegation about distractions, and afresh two players accept beef and aback it’s like, “I like the blaze I’m seeing!” What a bulk of shit.
When as a association did we stop cutting complete pajamas? I bethink as a kid in the 80s and 90s cutting them, but afresh switching up to a bodice and shorts at some point. No one alfresco of some array of medical academy wears pajamas anymore, right?
No, kids still abrasion jammies. My son will abrasion long-sleeve jammies in August. Aback I go to analysis on him in the morning, he’s be decrepit in diaphoresis and the aback of his close smells like a allurement shop. He doesn’t accord a crap. He wants his jammies, and I’m too apathetic to argue him otherwise. Kids still complete abundant award-winning any brace of pajamas accessory with Marvel characters or Paw Patrol puppies or cutouts of Logan Paul’s head. And I am not aloft seeing my kid in baiter jammies and avidity their cheeks like a deranged grandma and activity OMG SO CUTE AREN’T YOU JUST THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE BOY IN THE WORLD!
Anyway, my sons will canal sleepwear for acceptable at some point. I anticipate the boilerplate guy loses the jammies ancient about adolescence because A) You get hot and B) You get horny. Why would I beddy-bye in abounding anatomy pajamas that ache and agglomeration and coil aback I can band bottomward to my skivvies and feel all comfortable and SEXY? Almost too y! How can I beddy-bye aback there’s so abundant animal sheet-touching activity on?! Anyway, the ablaze goes on for boys eventually. For the accomplished 30 years, I accept slept in aloof boxers. That’s all I require. If I anytime had to beddy-bye in head-to-toe jammies, I would die of calefaction stroke. Pajamas are for women and children, as far as I’m concerned.
That didn’t consistently acclimated to be the case. Pajamas do accept a history. I ambition I could acquaint you that history is interesting, like the history of added acutely banal items from accustomed activity (Salt! Hallways! Oranges!). But no. No, the history of pajamas is appealing fucking boring. Aback in the old days, bodies had to beddy-bye in big antiquated nightshirts, because there was no calefaction and anybody was algid all the time. Afresh the Brits, in complete Brit fashion, blanket a few pairs of pajamas from “The Orient,” brought them back, and they became a cachet attribute for aboriginal fashionistas and aloof aristocrats. LOOK AT ME! I’M WEARING A SUIT TO DREAMLAND!
But it’s 2018 now, and best places accept a animate furnace, so pajamas are abounding at this point. If you’re a developed man agitation PJs now, I’d like to apperceive why. I accept you animate at the South Pole, or you’re 90 years old and are commonly visited by three alcohol every Christmas Eve.
When both the Cardinals and Eagles alarm you with the action of GM job, which do you accept based on acclimate alone?
The Eagles. I like active about that has all four seasons, alike if no such abode will abide four years from now. I’m agreeable to activity beneath the apparition that this fall—which has been absolutely grotesque—has been a meteorological anomaly, and that aggregate will backslide aback to accustomed aing year. I accept to accept this alike admitting the affirmation overwhelmingly suggests that area I live, 140 afar southwest of Philly, is a god permajungle. It’s revolting. I anticipate a bobcat absolved by my appointment the added day. The motherfucker acted like he’s lived actuality his accomplished life. There are mosquitoes the admeasurement of baby fairies ambit about my patio now. In October. They don’t accord a fuck.
Regardless, it still beats active in Arizona and accepting your basics broil. You cannot animate in that accompaniment and abide sane. I debris to accept it’s possible. Every day, God shines a accumulative canteen on Phoenix and screams LEAVE to its residents, and yet they remain. That is why Arizona will be the aboriginal accompaniment to go aback all the baptize dries up and The Purges begin. All of the states are activity to access one addition soon, and the Arizonans are gonna be ones you gotta watch out for. They’re gonna be heavily armed and abundantly stupid. I’m gonna area them off with accomplished abstract and egg rolls that are blimp with acceptable fillings instead of cheeseburger meat.
Is Nathan Peterman in the top 100 quarterbacks in the world? Let’s accede he’s absolutely at best 65th because he’s worse than every amateur in the NFL, every added 2nd cord QB in the NFL and Colin Kaepernick. Are there 35 added QBs in college, Canada and wherever abroad that are bigger than him?
Hell no, he’s not Top 100. Vince Young is a bigger quarterback adapted now than that pud. The aing time addition at you about Affirmative Action, point them to Nathan Peterman. That guy is a active abundance program. I bet Trump gave him a grant.
Speaking of Peterman, he belongs that accursed set of advancement quarterbacks who consistently administer to alpha at atomic one d during any accustomed season, no bulk how abysmal bottomward they’re active on the abyss chart. If you accept Nathan Peterman, Brock Osweiler, Matt Cassel, or Ryan Fitzpatrick on your roster, they WILL comedy for you at some point. It’s unavoidable. You closed your fate the additional you brought them into the building. They are the YOU AGAIN? quarterbacks. Watching Peterman comedy gives me the awareness of actuality aback in academy and somehow accepting the exact aforementioned chic agenda as Gorf Blurgfeld, the school’s foremost cement eater. The Bills could adhere Nathan Peterman, lock him in a car, drive that car to Alaska, dump that car in the Bering Strait, drive all the way aback home, and airing in the aperture abandoned to acquisition Peterman BACK, fit as a fiddle, and accessible to alpha for Anniversary 7. They’ll never agitate him.
I aloof abashed into my own place, (I had ahead lived with my brother). I’m 29 and single. How abundant booze/what booze should I accept at any accustomed time?
Do you plan on entertaining? Like, are you gonna accept adorned banquet parties at your accessible pad? You apparently aren’t. I bethink actuality distinct and actuality like, “I’m never gonna be one of those banquet affair s,” and afresh I got affiliated and had kids and complete abundant became one of those banquet affair s.
But for now, I agnosticism you’re channeling your close Ina Garten, yeah? If you’re accepting aggregation over, it’s either gonna be A) A date, B) Your folks, or C) Your KRAYZEE buddies. So you abandoned charge to banal up on what you like, and what they ability like: beer, wine, a admired liquor (My old man brand gin, so I consistently accept a canteen on duke alike admitting I never blow the stuff), etc. Aback I was dating my wife, all I kept in the fridge was Bud. So aback she came over the aboriginal time, I was like, “Can I get you article to drink? I accept Bud, and I have… uh… Bud.” I didn’t alike accept a abounding six-pack. It was, like, four alpine boys. She still gives me bits for this, so I’d accept a brace options at the accessible if I were you. It’s beneath about impressing women than it is ensuring that they are not greatly abashed by you.
All that said, I don’t anticipate you charge some absolutely abounding hipster liquor barrow with absinthe and eight altered kinds of ambrosial kumquat bitters and cher bottles of bazaar Mezcal. Not abandoned is that big-ticket and unnecessary, but it additionally deprives you the abiding amusement of the liquor run. I’m 42 and still get accursed up for a beer run, far added accursed up than is adapted for addition of my age and health. I can’t advice it, it’s NEW BOOZE! Fucking sweet! I adulation any alibi to go on a booze run. It’s the abandoned acceptable assignment I accept left. “Oh wow, my third accessory is visiting and they did a cheep already about affection aphotic and stormys! Bigger go banal up on 17 handles of rum! This is gonna be a PARTY!” Don’t bankrupt yourself of that baby pleasure. Sometimes actuality able is overrated.
If you could accord Trump one of the three “Wizard of Oz” items, which one would you accord him? I anticipate accustomed the actuality that his administering is caging children, I’d accord him a affection first.
Yeah you’d accept to accord him the heart. I don’t wanna accord him courage, because that would aloof accord him the adventuresomeness to alpha killing bodies outright. And I don’t wanna accord him a brain. Attending how abundant accident he’s already acquired afterwards one. Accord him ANY faculty of cunning and you’ll abandoned acceleration up our doom. So I’d accord him a heart, which would be apricot because that anatomic affection would be replacing the lipid-stuffed time bomb currently residing in his . I abhorrence the abstraction of crumbling a beginning affection on THAT guy. He was already a decay of organs. I bet his abdomen attending like an Outback Steakhouse grease dumpster.
When you get in the battery with a battery curtain, do you cull the blind from the advanced to the aback or from the aback to the front? I say aback to advanced because I don’t appetite the baptize artifice from the front. My adherent says advanced to aback because she wants to get in anon beneath the water.
No breach to your galpal, but how continued does it booty to airing from the aback of a battery to the front? Half a millisecond? It’s a shower. If your battery is additionally a tub it’s, like, bristles anxiety long, if that. It’s not an airport terminal.
Getting in from the advanced is batty because you can bang your arch on the showerhead (a complete affair for bodies of my height), and because the baptize will burst everywhere, and because the baptize ability abruptness you and be too hot/too algid aback you footfall adapted under. Aloof about-face on the water, barometer the temp, afresh footfall in from the back. That way, you’re attention the bath attic from splashing, AND you get a bendable point of access to the spray. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
How appear aback bodies add added belletrist to a chat to extend it it’s consistently the aftermost letter? You wrote “BADDDDDDDD MEDICINE” once. It needs to be “BAAAAAAAAD MEDICINE”. Try and accent badddddddd out loud. See? You’re fucking bigger than that, Magary. We should all be animate about the alarm to actual this complete austere issue.
Okay, that’s fair. But, in my defense, I do this because I am LAZY. Sometimes I appetite to elongate the word, so I aloof double-park on a accidental letter and accident it into oblivion. Surely that beggars your compassion.
In all seriousness, I do try to acreage on the adapted letter to accent phonetically, but sometimes it still looks a bit off. Attending afresh at BAAAAAAAAD MEDICINE. You can see an ahhhhhhh complete entering that spelling, and that would abandoned accomplish faculty if The Wiggles were accomplishing a zoo-themed awning of that song (as we all achievement and adjure they do). So sometimes it helps to bluff and aloof echo the final letter to get the point across, alike if it’s inaccurate. I aloof approved to accent BADDDDDDDD MEDICINE out loud appropriately and my teeth about fell out.
When you get the e-mail notification that says “Your amalgamation is actuality shipped”, how abounding times do you bang on the tracking advice link? I affirm I analysis on that affair at atomic 5 times a day, alike anon afterwards I get the e-mail.
Well, what’s in the package? If it’s some Amazon adjustment for new socks, I don’t accord a shit. It’ll get actuality aback it gets here. If it’s a new buzz or article important, I’m blockage the tracking cardinal at atomic already a day, and afresh audibly groaning aback it says it’s still at the processing center. It’s not aloof Jeff Bezos who is foolishly abrupt and ambitious of Amazon workers. It’s additionally baby shits like me sitting at home, easily on hips, agreeable at a adviser WHY ARE MY CASHEWS STILL STUCK IN MEMPHIS?!
My kids are complete acid about amalgamation tracking. They ask me to analysis the tracking cardinal 5,000 times a day aback they adjustment a new brace of Spider-Man jammies or whatever. So aback it comes to my own transactions, I try my best to archetypal patience. It’s not that hard, really. I’m a watched-pot-never-boils array of person, so I’m mostly agreeable to abstain checking. If I check, that’ll put a hex on my mail adjustment and accomplish it booty alike longer. Also, I don’t accept Amazon Prime, but I accept begin that the aggregate of my Amazon orders access able-bodied afore their estimated commitment date behindhand (no one acquaint Bezos this, or abroad he’ll alpha charging for accidentally aboriginal commitment beneath the name Amazon Zip), so I’m agreeable to let it appear aback it comes. I’d rather be abundantly afraid it accustomed aboriginal than accept a acrimony because it showed up to the abode two canicule late.
And in case you anticipate I’m abounding of bits about not obsessively tracking packages, amuse agenda that THIS was the aftermost affair I ordered on Amazon for myself. Those are orthopedic sandals. I assure you that I was not bedrock adamantine with apprehension for that little bit of adamantine affirmation of my frumpiness to access at my doorstep.
Pick one: McDonald’s or Wendy’s.
I’m gonna aces McDonald’s. McDonald’s is crap, but there are still affluence of things on that card I will acquiescently eat: the fries, the McNuggets, the McFlurries (very crucial), and the aggregate of the breakfast menu. I like Wendy’s nuggets, and I like their fries, and I like a algid Frosty, but that’s kinda it. I got a brittle craven sandwich there already that was complete SHIT. Aloof a sad craven patty on an alike sadder bun. A absolute decay of a sandwich.
Wendy’s is overrated. The greatest ambush they anytime pulled was acceptable bodies that they serve bigger affection aliment than McDonald’s aback all those fast aliment joints use Grade-F meats from some Brazilian tapeworm farm. Fuck Wendy’s and fuck their brainless Twitter. I will now agreement abiding adherence to a shitty battling alternation that is amenable for accumulation contagion on a all-around calibration aloof to animosity Wendy’s. Maybe if they had mix-ins with their Frostys, I would reconsider. LEMME PUT SOME BUTTERFINGERS IN THAT BITCH.
And why no birthmark Frosty? The Thomas ancestors has some assignment to do.
I barbecue out a fair bulk during the spring, summer and fall. I was adorable at my barbecue the added night and remembered it has a ancillary burner on it. I accept acclimated the ancillary burner absolutely once, several years ago on a altered grill. It took always to calefaction the baptize because the little burner could not aftermath abundant BTUs to absolutely calefaction anything. Do bodies absolutely use their ancillary burners?
I don’t anytime use it. It’s one of those abortive add-ons advised to accomplish the barbecue added adorable aback you buy it, because you’re like, “Oh wow, I can barbecue up some craven and I can abscess matzo assurance all at the aforementioned time! OOOH AND IT HAS BLUETOOTH! That’s useful!”
When I bought my grill, I had delusions of application that comatose ancillary burner and authoritative over a angry cookout, with a advance a mile long, and dozens of accouchement all arena on a Slip N Slide afterwards it breaking, and added dads patting me on the aback for my assay accomplishment and handing me ice algid brews in a affirmation of abiding bro loyalty. In reality, of course, I’m hasty out from the abode in the cloudburst rain, alone, acquisitive a brace of sad craven s baker afore the gas catchbasin runs out. The ancillary burner charcoal unused, a cairn to the airs that took authority of me aback I was continuing central a Sears three years ago. It like the time I bought a TV because it had picture-in-picture. No one uses that shit.
To use a grill’s ancillary burner effectively, you absolutely charge a abounding alfresco kitchen, with pots and plates and sundries and active baptize all accessible to you adapted there, area you’re grilling. I do not accept an alfresco kitchen, because they’re expensive, and because wet division actuality now occupies eight months out of the year. But one day, by god, I will accept an alfresco kitchen. I will animate aloft the finest acropolis in Sonoma County, and I will accept a barbecue that can buzz a absolutely developed developed ostrich in 12 minutes, and I will accept a fully-stocked alfresco affable amplitude all tucked beneath a attractive lanai, and I shall adapt best commons adapted there out in the open, for all of detestable friends. YOU WATCH. It’ll appear one day aback I assuredly advertise out and alpha shilling miniature phonephones on Twitter.
So I’m alert to your podcast and all of a abrupt the aboriginal of two branch stones are adapted at the point of exit. Should I sit or angle for the capital event?
STAND! You gotta stand. Would you sit bottomward for a battlefront squad? Hell no. Tie a blinder about your head, ablaze up a Marlboro, and let it rip. Do it off a balcony. See if you can shoot a bird’s eye out.
Since age 13, how abounding canicule has LeBron NOT affected a basketball? It’s got to be distinct digits, right?
No, I anticipate it’s added than distinct digits. Like all of the greats, LeBron is affected over his craft, but I anticipate he’s additionally acute abundant to booty break every already in a while so that he doesn’t get into a rut, both physically and creatively. Like, one day a anniversary is Wine Day, and the abandoned affair his duke touches that day is a $700 canteen of Shafer Reserve. Also, what if he goes on vacation? Does he PACK a basketball? That would be a complete affliction in the ass. I bet he’s gone about d he can acquisition a cloister to about on, abandoned to acquisition out the resort abandoned has a tennis cloister or something. And afresh he aloof has some albino and jerks off.
I additionally anticipate LeBron is the affectionate of guy who apparently has a appropriate accepted of basketball drills and contest that absolutely do NOT accommodate application a basketball. That’s the affectionate of New Age bits he’d be into: aloof spending a abounding anniversary practicing all of his off-ball moves, foolishly depriving himself of cutting convenance because he wants to EARN it. Afore arena a minute of basketball, he charge adjust his spirit guides. It’s like a karate chic area they force you to alternation for two years afore you get to anytime bandy a punch. Those classes SUCK. I wanna bite bits NOW!
Now Kobe? Kobe has affected a brawl every day. He sleeps with one. He dribbles one while he’s in the car. He oversees abhorrent documentaries while accomplishing that affair area you authority the brawl amid your easily like it’s a amplitude orb. Kobe wants you to apperceive that he LIVES for basketball. And for afraid off aboveboard animal advance charges.
All the music fabricated by bodies who’ve back died or all the music fabricated by bodies still alive. WHO YA GOT?!
Are you adage who has the added absorbing catalog? That’s accessible the asleep artists, back there are added of them. BUT… if you’re allurement me which accumulation I’m gonna accept to for the blow of my life, I’m absolutely gonna aces the ALIVE group. By the time best artists are dead, I’m ailing of their hits anyway. I’m not gonna cede new music for the blow of my lifetime aloof so that I can hear, like, “The Wind Cries Mary” for the zillionth time. If I capital to apprehend from asleep artists for the blow of my life, I never would accept annulled my Rolling Stone cable HEY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Email of the week!
I’m both amused and appreciative of this. I’m sitting on a bank in a analytic loud beer anteroom with my wife and some friends. I’m three, four beers abysmal (who’s counting), and afterwards abashment or application I’m ripping ass on the bank because (1) I’m accustomed with my analysis and apperceive that my beer farts afterwards three (four) beers will aftermath basal to no fetor and (2) it’s loud abundant in the area that ample ripping of ass will go unnoticed, or at atomic no one present will be assured abundant in what they anticipation they heard to accomplish any big accord of it.
It was a cogent fart, no calefaction or aqueous so abundant as abundant gas artifice that it acquainted as if I levitated in my bench anytime so briefly. Afterwards ripping ass, my wife who is sitting adapted aing to me gets a abashed looked, and says to no one in particular, “Did someone’s buzz aloof vibrate?” To which I absolve and say, “I didn’t feel anything.” The chat continues has if annihilation has occurred. Secretly, I’ll smile about this moment for the blow of activity best likely.
As able-bodied you should.
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